how about let's not worry what people think.

I think everyone, even the most seemingly put-together and confident of people, get a little self-conscious at times.  It is a natural thing, and shouldn’t always have a negative connotation.  In certain situations, being aware of yourself and how you are being perceived by others is very important.  However, I have realized that there are some things that I (and I’m sure others) get self-conscious about that are completely pointless when you really think about it.

1)      Being “alone” in public places.  I was sitting in the student union the other day watching the Reds game by myself.  Now I didn’t go there with the purpose of watching it alone; I was waiting for a friend to meet me.  While I was waiting, however, I was SO uncomfortable.  I kept looking around seeing if anyone was watching me, playing with my phone to keep busy, and thinking to myself, “People probably think I’m such a weirdo sitting alone watching baseball.”  HOW FREAKING STUPID IS THAT.  First of all, it is kind of egotistical on my part to think that anyone even cared that I was sitting there.  Most people probably didn’t notice me, and if they did they probably didn’t give me a second thought.  Second of all, even if someone did notice me sitting alone and think that I must not have any friends, why does it matter?  I know that I have friends, and that doesn’t change whether or not some random person thinks I do. 

2)      Singing in the car.  Now this one may just be me, but I seriously love nothing more than blaring some diva ballads in my car and trying my best to hit those ungodly high notes (Leona Lewis- Bleeding Love, anyone?)   But as soon as I get to a stoplight, I shut right up, because there are cars around me and I am sitting there for an extended amount of time during which they could notice me singing, heaven forbid.  I have even gone so far as to pull out my phone and hold it to my ear at a stoplight so I could continue singing, and then if anyone saw me moving my mouth they might think I was talking on the phone.  Side note- I’m pretty sure it’s pretty easy to tell if someone is singing rather than talking, and those people that saw me probably just wondered who the unlucky person was being serenaded on the other end.  But seriously, WHO CARES if someone notices me singing my little head off in the car having a grand ol’ time?  I will likely never see any of those people again in my life, and if anything maybe it’ll make them smile.

3)      Dancing.  If you’ve seen the tall girl problems post, you’ve seen how wonderful I look when I’m dancing.  And after I see pictures like this of myself, I start to think, “Maybe I shouldn’t dance in public; my ostrich limbs flailing about cannot be enjoyable to look at.”  But you know who looks the WORST dancing?  People just standing there, bobbing their head looking uncomfortable.  You know who looks the best?  People who look like they’re having fun, regardless of their talent level.

A little story from that day I was watching baseball…  Later that day one of my girl friends who was in the student union came up to me and said, “Wow, I saw you sitting by yourself watching baseball and I was like, ‘I bet guys think she is such a hot girl just watching baseball there by herself.’”  I responded, “Um, are you kidding me? I was so nervous sitting there and felt like such a loser and not a ‘hot girl’ at all!”  So in reality, even though I wasn’t thinking very highly of myself, someone around me was admiring me.  Rather than assume the worst of what others must be thinking about you, try every once in a while to assume that they think you’re pretty cool.  Or at the very least, be practical and realize that they probably aren’t thinking about you at all.  It will help rid your mind of the useless worries and help you project confidence that will attract attention for the right reasons.

-S

911 yes hello I need a WAAAmbulance

"I just really don't want to go to class."

"I am so over the rain already."

"It's like... I'm glad to be back, I just don't want to do any work."

"Ugh, there are just some people that I do not want to see around campus at all."

"OMG BOYS HERE SUCKKKKKKKK WHY ME???"

I am guilty of saying all of the above and some more since coming back to school a couple days ago. I've heard many fellow students expressing similar sentiments as well and I'm sure you have too, even if in your own head. It's so easy to be nostalgic about summer and wishing you could go back to the nights of sleeping under the stars and laying out in the sun, but that doesn't mean school has to be the antithesis of that. It's funny because I spent the majority of summer so excited for the school year but now I'm here and I'm already missing having zero responsibilities. Why have I been thinking like that, though? I am OBSESSED with my sorority and love every single one of my classes already, yet I still find myself complaining. I realized that I'm not complaining because I actually have something that has been bothering me for a long time, I'm complaining because I have nothing else to say. Complaining has become the new small talk. Two girls in front of me were complaining about a really cool class I'm taking and said they were just ready to get it over with and get the A because they're seniors. By observing these two girls, I could tell that they weren't super close friends and were just trying to bond over a similar experience they shared, and instead of exchanging niceties, they complained about something that I was super excited about. It's funny, because after that conversation I was consumed with negative thoughts about the class. My perspective was completely turned around in just a couple seconds because of an overheard conversation. Negativity is CONTAGIOUS, my people. Over the summer I challenged myself to appreciate and enjoy every moment and it changed my entire outlook on life. When I stepped back onto this campus, though, I slipped back into my old mindset almost immediately. I'm thankful that God has made me aware of my struggle so that I can change my outlook. Bottom line: If you are not joyful as a Christian, you are living a lie. Let's step it up people! We are incredibly blessed by the God of the Universe, and that's enough. Let's dance in the rain instead of complaining about it.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

-H

friends: the good and the bad

There's a good chance that you've gone through a lot of best friends. It's not a bad thing, it's just life. Sure you can still be friends with your best friends but life moves so fast that it's extremely difficult to stay as close as you used to be. I was talking to my best friend from high school the other day and I told her how I'm still good friends with about five people from high school. FIVE PEOPLE. I went to school with 1600 other kids. How does that even happen? Well for one, high school was an overall nauseating experience. I couldn't make deep and meaningful friendships in that horrific environment. Thank God for gymnastics or I probably would have made zero friends. If you're in high school and you're reading this, rest easy in knowing that the popularity hierarchy DOES NOT EXIST upon graduating. I know, I was relieved too. It seemed like everyone was trying to climb their way to the top and the gossip was unbelievable. I'm not claiming innocent in that category, either. I was just as bad as the next person.

#TRUUUUU. I apologize for that outburst. Anyways, fast forward to college and life is OH so much dandier. The people are nicer, the friendships are deeper, and the academics are a million times harder but that's beside the point. The main reason I enjoy it so much more than high school is because the people I choose to surround myself with build me up in every way. We all have or had that one friend who uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism for their insecurities. I am a sarcastic person at times, but I've learned not to make jokes at my friends' expense. One time, my friend was trying to make me look stupid in front of my other friends and it didn't feel very nice. I asked her afterwards why she did that and guess what she said? "I do it because it makes people laugh and I like making people laugh."

.......................................................

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

The goal was noble, I will give her that. But the way she went about achieving that goal? INCONCEIVABLE. (If you didn't read that in Vizzini's voice from Princess Bride then I don't know you.)

That, my friends, is the number one sign of an insecure person. Stay away from the people who put you down constantly, even if it seems like it's all fun and games. And if you're friends with someone who puts you down, either confront the issue or cut them out of your life. There's no shame in doing either one because who you surround yourself with is who you are. Maintain your dignity in every situation and build people up whenever possible because there is no one in this world who actually likes being made fun of. Even though I'm only 20 (ALMOST 21), I've learned a lot in the department of friendship and I hope this helped at least one of you beautiful peoples. XOXOX,

-H

back to school.

Halle and I really cannot wait to go back to school.  Honestly.  Home is getting quite boring and lonely.  But the other day, as we were talking, it hit us... we are going to have to deal with the "How was your summerrrrrrr?!" question from about 30 of our sorority sisters on our respective halls, and the numerous other friends we will run into around campus on move-in day.  And this thought almost made me want to lock myself in my room here at home and never go back.  So, instead I will write this blog post and hope that most of the people I will see back at school will read it and take heed.

If you decide to ask me how my summer was, I will do one or more of the things listed below:

• yell and scream

• give you one of these faces

• tell you exactly how every moment of my summer was in excruciating detail until you want to do this

• change the subject to something infinitely more interesting

• slap you and run away

But in all seriousness... if you don't already know how my summer was, we probably aren't that close so you probably don't really care and I probably don't really care to explain it.  I'll most likely just be like "It was good!"  So you have that exciting response to look forward to.

All my love!

-S

modest isn't hottest

So, I have a dilemma. Sarah and I go to a private Christian school somewhere in Pennsylvania with 2400 other students called Grove City College. At Grove City, you will stick out like a sore thumb if you wear that slightly revealing yet adorable dress you saw on Pinterest the other day. Flyers advertising seminars titled "Modest is Hottest" are posted in the freshman girls' dorms in order to introduce the newbies to the ways of the Grove. Now don't get me wrong: I love that my school promotes modesty. I really do. I've been challenged to modestify my wardrobe and I prefer it a million times more over my slightly shorter and tighter clothes I rocked in high school. But I have a few issues with this whole modesty campaign.

1. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say 'hot'? A fire, obviously. What's the second? A sexy lady showing a sexy amount of skin, probably. "Hot" is what guys use to describe other girls that they find visually and sexually appealing. Dressing modestly is in no way hot. It just isn't. I highly doubt that the premise of the message of modesty is how to arouse men in a floor length jean skirt.

2. If you're trying to prove that modest is hottest, then you've already lost. Every time someone has come up to me telling me that my shirt's too revealing or my skirt is too short, I've been turned off. There is obviously something to the whole "dressing immodestly" thing because it attracts a lot of male attention. The desire to dress modestly should come from a place of personal conviction to honor God, not someone telling you that it's hot.

3. Sure, it's probably cool at your church or small Christian school to stand by that catchy phrase and wear it on your t-shirt, but I promise you that you will be forever mocked if you act like that outside of your safe zones. Also, "modest is hottest" is a preposterous misuse of the English language. CHECK YOSELF.

DISCLAIMER: Just because modest isn't hottest doesn't mean it isn't beautiful and classy and all those good things. Also, I'm banning myself from ever writing a post on my soapbox ever again. I've become a monster.

Tell me your thoughts by commenting below, please and thank you. Also, read this much better and hilarious post about this issue: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2013/06/modest-is-not-hottest.html

breakups.

Man, do they suck.  Big time.  But you know what I’ve realized?  They’re almost a rite of passage.  Think of how horrible it would be to be on your deathbed and realize that you never experienced the sadness that inspired countless Taylor Swift songs.  So, if you are going through heartbreak right now, you are in good company my friend.   Also, something I’ve been thinking, is that being broken up with is much better than being the breaker-upper. Let me break it down for you.

·         You get to be the bitter one which, admittedly, feels kinda good for a while.

·         You get to play the sympathy card with your friends/family, and listen to them tell you how great you are and maybe even buy you stuff.

·         You don’t have to deal with the regret of wondering if you made the right decision in breaking up with the person.

·         You are allowed to eat ice cream out of the gallon/3 boxes of oreos in one sitting and feel zero guilt.

·         You can belt out some “Someone Like You” in your car, pausing at stoplights of course, and really feel the lyrics.

·         You can move on first and not feel guilty.

·         Honestly, you can be pretty humbled by the rejection, and become a better person because of it.

·         You can let Jesus be your boyfriend for a while, and He’ll undoubtedly be way better than the last .

And all of this is not even to mention the perks of being single.

·         Whenver Single Ladies comes on you can gladly and proudly “put yo hand UP”.

·         You can “talk” to/go on dates with the hordes of people who were eagerly awaiting the day your facebook relationship status would change to “single”.  Or at least one person. Hopefully.

·         You can fb stalk that cute boy/look up Ryan Gosling pictures online for hours and not even feel bad.

·         You can hold on to the hope that you will someday be with an NBA player… oh wait… that’s just me.  But seriously, your dream guy is still out there, and you still get the excitement of finding him!  It's still an exciting unknown to look forward to.

·         You can buy a lot of cats and know that they will never leave you. 

Now, I’m sure, being in a relationship can be pretty great too, but it will come in its time.  For now, let yourself feel the heartbreak for a while (maybe make a playlist of songs specifically geared to make you bawl your eyes out…oh wait, just me again?), and when the time comes, move on and you’ll be better for it.

Anyone have some surefire tips for beating the breakup blues?

-S

GUYS. read this. please.

Alright, this one is for you, gentlemen.  I’ve had a few conversations over the years with some of you and you seemed to be surprised about certain things that girls do or think.  So I’m gonna go full disclosure here and share some of these things with you that the sooner you find out, the better.  Girls, some of this might be a little embarrassing, but we gotta own it and stop trying to hide our crazy! We’ve all got it!

1)      When we’re walking around in public, we aren’t checking you out.  We’re checking out other girls.  Now now, don’t get too excited.  We’re checking them out because we’re comparing ourselves to them.   Ranking ourselves against them.  It’s pathetic actually.  I’m not proud of this, but it’s what we do.  But in any case, you don’t really have to worry much about what you look like, cause we probably don’t notice.  Unless you’re not wearing a shirt and lifting some heavy boxes off the ground or something.  Then expect a lot of staring and inconspicuous iPhone picture taking.

2)      If we’ve talked to you for at least 20 seconds, we have probably already considered the possibility of dating you, and either ruled you out or you are our new crush.  Don’t worry, it probably won’t last long.   But if you are somewhat attracted to us, don’t be afraid to make a move!  Cause honestly, unless you are hideous or really awkward or smell bad*, we are already considering you.  90% of the time, if you are brave enough to make a move, we will give you a shot.  Halle and I, and probably a lot of other smart girls, have made up our minds that we will not pursue, we will be pursued.  If you don’t make that move, you won’t have a shot.

*Side note: smelling good is HUGE.

3)      Honestly, past that immediate curiosity, we actually like to move very slow.  It takes time for us to trust you, to develop a history with you, etc.  If you come on too strong too quickly, it will freak us out.  As much as we may say or think that we hate it, wait a day (not 3) before calling/texting/facebook messaging**.  Give us some time to think that you are out doing really cool things and have a super exciting life.  But, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT, be intentional about communicating and showing your interest when you choose to.  Just do it in small doses at first.

**This list is in order of decreasing amount of balls.  Man up and call.

4)      Fourth and final (for now anyways), here is our biggest secret: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE WANT.  Well, actually we do.  We want a guy who is romantic but masculine, honest but mysterious, a pursuer but not creepy, attractive but doesn’t act like he knows it, confident but not cocky, athletic but not a meathead, etc. etc. etc.  We know these expectations are too high, but we have too much womanly pride to settle.  If you’re confused, that’s ok, so are we.  Don’t worry about figuring us out, cause we don’t even have ourselves figured out.

Anyways, I hope this doesn’t freak you out too much.  But if it does, that’s too bad, cause every girl I know is pretty equally crazy.  If she’s trying to hide it now, it will come out later, and probably worse than you could ever imagine.  So just let us be a little weird and confusing and love us for it J

Also, as always, we welcome comments with any thoughtful questions or responses J

-S

cheap beauty must-haves for the broke college girl

I just recently realized that the reason I feel like I'm always caking on my make-up is because I'm always caking on my make-up. Groundbreaking stuff here folks. I discovered that I'm caking it on because I've only ever bought poor quality make-up that needed several applications. So yesterday, I went on a spree to find the BEST and the CHEAPEST make-up for broke college girls like myself and I am blessing you all with my discoveries. You're welcome. 

These are my beauty essentials and you better love them as much as I do. Starting from the top left:

1. NYX Slim Eye Pencils in Dark Brown and Black: $3.50 each. They last forever and are half as cheap as any drugstore eyeliner! I'm obsessed.

2. NYX Powder Blush in Pinched: $5. Pinched is a pinky/ coral shade with gold sparkles and it is the PRETTIEST BLUSH EVER. It looks good on everyone. I'm obsessed and you need to buy it right this second. You won't regret it.

3. E.L.F. Shimmering Facial Whip in Pink Lemonade: $1. You can't go wrong for that price. You can put it on your lips, eyelids, and cheeks and it looks and smells awesome. Definitely a must-have item.

4. NYC Smooth Skin Bronzing Face Powder in Sunny: $2.79. Again, you can't go wrong for that price and it's one of the most sought-after bronzers because of the matte look. No sparkles here so it's perfect for contouring and doesn't look fake at all!

5. NYX Soft Matte Lip Creams in Tokyo, Antwerp (my favorite), San Paulo, and Addis Ababa: $6 each. I went to Giant Eagle and got a pack of 3 for $6 so go run there really quickly and grab them if they're still there. I. LOVE. THESE. I can't say enough about them. There's really no way to explain what they are so I'm gonna go with a creamy whip that goes on matte and smells like babies. I don't even know. Just go out and buy them. They're wonderful.

6. L'Oreal True Match Super Blendable Concealer: $9.50. I got it for $5 because of a deal so that's pretty much why I bought it. It's just your basic concealer but it's part of my everyday routine so I had to include it. To cover up red spots, get a more yellowy concealer to cancel out the red.

7. E.L.F. Eyebrow Kit: $3. Perfect for Italians like me who constantly need to make sure their eyebrows aren't going crazy.

8. E.L.F. 3-in-1 Mascara: Lengthen, Define, & Volumize: $3. Love this mascara. Love the wand. Love the price. Just go out and get it.

9. L'Oreal True Match Lumi Healthy Luminous Makeup: $12.99. I splurged, folks. But trust me, you need to get foundation that won't make you look like you have 10 pounds of make-up on and this does the trick. I love it!

Oh, and one more thing! Use olive oil instead of a moisturizer. It makes your skin glow and feel SO soft.

So there you go. I hope you save a million dollars and never buy crappy make-up again. Oh, and if you ever want your make-up done, HIT ME UP. It's my secret passion.

-H

"talking"

Can we all just take a moment to reflect on "talking"? No, I don't mean the generic definition of the word. I mean the weird, awkwardly long phase between friendship and dating. You know how your parents tell you about all the people they used to date while subtly wondering why you aren't as cool as they were? Just me? Ok. Anyways, it JUST dawned on me that all the "dating" they used to do was actually what we call talking. So in the old days, I would've been just like the average dater! Obviously! *weeps silently*

So what exactly constitutes talking? I took it upon myself to delve into several deep and complex ways the opposite sexes interact with each other in this almost-dating-but-not-really stage and the pros and cons of each.

1. Texting. Obviously. Talking couldn't exist without texting because, let's face it: the spark simply could not exist without a kissy face emoji.

Pros: No face-to-face to interaction! You have time to think over what you want to say and make your life not seem as pathetic so you don't blow it like you obviously would in real life. 

What I would say if I were being completely honest:
Him: "hey what's up"
Me: "um nothing nothing at all just laying in bed watching netflix eating nutella from a spoon and trying to trap my dog in my room so she won't run away from me, HBU??"

What I actually say:
Him: "hey what's up"
Me: "nothing, you?"

Cons: There are few things that infuriate more than the texter who texts me "hey" every morning at 8 o' clock right before his shift at his dad's office. HELLO, girls like spontaneity, not routine. As hard as it is not to talk to me all day every day, it must be done. I can only bestow my wisdom in small doses because it will overwhelm you.

2. Facebook. How much more romantic can you get?

Pros: Creeping. This is my specialty. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but come on. Before my freshman year in college, I stalked some profiles to find a roommate and decided that the nice girl with 100 cats in her profile picture probably wouldn't be the best fit. Likewise, you can do the same with that boy who poked you yesterday.

Cons: Creeping. He can find every hideous selfie you've ever posted and every sappy quote you posted that related to your current situation. I still do both of those things, but that's beside the point.

3. Snapchat. No, this is not a joke. Did you know you can have a full length conversation via Snapchat? Neither did I til I did it.

Pros: Your true self cannot hide on Snapchat. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Emphasis on the ugly. There's no room for surprise!

Cons: Your true self cannot hide on Snapchat.

Here's the bottom line: 

Boys, just skip the talking phase and ask her out on a date. Girls, don't treat dates like they're some huge event that will eventually lead to a YouTube worthy proposal.

Bless you all.

-H

tall girl problems.

My name is Sarah and I’m a tall girl. 6’ tall to be exact. Here are a few of my problems, specifically those that relate to my extraneous amount of leg.

1)      Boys are short. I am not.**

2)      I don’t look “cute” in heels. I look gargantuan. See Figure 1.

3)      I have to slouch in pictures so my head is in the same layer of the atmosphere as the other people in the picture, resulting in the appearance of having severe scoliosis.

4)      People in random public places seem to think that the fact that I have the distinguishing characteristic of being very tall while simultaneously being a girl is an invitation to talk to me about this distinguishing characteristic.

            Ex) While walking through the Disney store in NYC, a man with a thick New Yahk accent approaches me.  Guy who doesn’t understand the appropriate level of contact you should have with strangers (i.e. none): “Hey, are you from America?”  Me: “Um…yes.” Guy: “Oh, you’re just so tall, I thought you must be from Scandinavia or somethin’.  You’re like an Amazonian woman.”  Me: “Um…cool.” Guy walks away. Guy comes back 15 seconds later.  Guy: “Hey, I have to ask, do you play basketball?” Me: “Um…no.” Guy: “Oh, cause you’re just so tall I thought you must play basketball.  Ok nevermind.”  (Side note…if I did play basketball, why on earth would it be that essential for him to know?  Like whether or not I play basketball was so important that he had to come BACK and ask me that. Anyways.)

5)      I have to special order jeans online that have a 36” inseam.  Otherwise I’m a pro at rocking the “ankle jean” look… for others it is a trend, for me it is a way of life.

6)      When dancing, sometimes I think I look really cool and seductive.  However, upon viewing a few videos/pictures that include me dancing, I realize that as a result of my awkwardly long limbs, I look somewhat like an ostrich.  An ostrich that probably has no friends. See Figure 2.

Anyways, these are just a few of my woes.  So anytime you short girls think “Man, I wish I was taller…”, give it a second thought.  And please, for the love of everything holy, stop dating the boys that are over 6’ tall if you are not. 

**If anyone happens to be friends with any single NBA players, do a girl a solid and hook me up. I have recently realized this is my only chance of ever finding love.

-S

Figure 1.

Figure 2.

late night woes

You know when your head has just hit the pillow and you're ready to doze off and dream about happy things like puppies and sunshine but your brain has different ideas? It's like, "Hey Halle, remember that one time you landed on your face at that gymnastics meet in front of your entire high school? Gooood times." So you're tossing and turning and trying to think about the times when you didn't mortify yourself but your brain just keeps the memories coming. "Oh oh oh remember when someone introduced you to a cute guy and you turned bright red and ran away? Hysterical." (This was last year by the way.) My personal favorite late night thought that isn't even an embarrassing moment but is actually just my brain expressing its cruel self is: "You can't date anyone ever because you'll start to stutter and sweat and then just mess everything up like that one time you gave that C grade speech last semester so really I'm doing you a favor by pummeling your self-esteem to the ground." THANKS BRAIN. YOU'RE A REAL PAL. 

All I'm saying is, whenever you want your frenemy of a brain to take a seat, read a book by Tolkien and fall asleep in a puddle of your drool after the first page. You're welcome for the life hack. 

-H

what this blog is for.

Have you ever wondered when you’re gonna have life figured out and be that final version of yourself that is perfectly beautiful and smart and funny and doesn’t have to try?  Yeah, us too.  So we’re kinda tired of trying to act like we know what we’re doing, and decided to embrace the fact that we’re a little weird and messy yet sometimes sort of awesome.  

Have you ever taken a second and realized how strange you are?  Have you ever wondered to yourself, “if someone else ever knew that I thought/did _____ , they would think I was the weirdest person alive?”  Well sharing those things has kinda been the basis of our friendship.  And we realized that if it makes us feel so good to hear someone say, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’ve thought/done that too!”, maybe it would make other people feel good as well.  So this is us, sharing our honest thoughts and experiences.  We’re tired of those blogs with these perfect girls giving advice on how to be perfect like them.  So instead we’re just gonna admit that we try really hard and fail a lot and secretly just want everyone’s affirmation.  Including yours.  Love us.  Please.

-S & H