compliments: not as creepy as you think

Think back to a time when a guy complimented you. Now think back to how that made you feel. GREAT, right?!?!? One time last year a guy said that I looked nice, and I still remember EVERYTHING about that moment. I remember who it was, where it was, what I was wearing, what he was wearing, etc, etc. Maybe I'm a psycho. Maybe it's Maybelline. The only time I actually feel creeped out by a guy when he's giving me a compliment is if he says something like, "You have a way of being sexy with your feet." Yes, someone actually said that to me. As long as you don't look/ act like a serial killer, I probably won't get creeped out. Or think you're hitting on me. Promise. Also, whenever I get a compliment from a member of the male gender, I view him as confident and self-assured. Guys: give a compliment to a girl tomorrow and watch her face light up. It seriously will change her entire day.

Ladies, you know I'm not leaving you behind on this one though. When you get compliments, PLEASE be gracious and just accept them. Say "thank you", smile, and let it make your day. Nobody likes that awkward denial. What are they supposed to do, agree with you? Maybe they should after that lavish display of self-deprecation.

Challenge: compliment as many people as you can tomorrow. It will make you feel great about yourself seeing how many people you make happy. And here's an extra challenge: give them a specific compliment. The best compliments I've ever received and remember to this day are not the typical outfit praises or the you-look-cutes, but the ones that say something meaningful about who I am as a person. Embarassing fact: I write down every compliment I get that makes me feel warm and fuzzy in my 'notes' on my phone, so whenever I'm feeling sad about my life I can just look at those and realize that I'm not so bad. So, if you've ever complimented me, your name is probably in my iPhone and I probably love you. Don't freak out.

Side note: when you're complimenting someone, make sure you're actually being authentic because people can SMELL fake. We all went to middle school. With that one girl.



Don't be her.

And for the record people, this post is not me crying about how I don't get enough compliments because my identity is in Christ and he's the only person whose opinion matters anyways. I'm simply on a mission to encourage people to spread the positivity and love because you never know how badly someone might need it. And remember: you can never give enough compliments because most of the time, people aren't getting enough.

Peace and love,

-H

i don't know how to be a girl.

I recently realized that there are certain qualities that girls are known for that I just… don’t have.  Despite the numerous examples I could give,  I’ll narrow down the list to two things.

1)      Being mysterious.  Some girls just have it all figured out.  They are beautiful.  They float around all day, doe-eyed and petite and lovely and demure.  They have a high, airy voice and an adorable giggle.  None of those things describe me.  I literally have no idea how to be demure or mysterious, and being 6 feet tall rules out petite pretty quickly.  I am way too honest for the whole mysterious thing, and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.  I used to think being mysterious was a bad thing; it was one of those games that high-schoolers play when they don’t want to let the person that they like know that they like them.  Lately, I’m realizing it’s probably a pretty attractive quality that I somehow never picked up along the way.  I want to be one of those girls that says just enough to be funny or interesting, but is quiet enough to not be obnoxious and have an air of mystery.  I wonder if those girls try to be like that, or they just are.  I would definitely be trying, and it’s just not worth the effort for me.  Also, if I wanted to be mysterious, I probably shouldn’t have started writing a blog.

2)      Holding grudges.  Girls have been forever known as the stubborn, grudge-holding sex.  Again, guess I missed out on that one.  For example, I am still friends with all of my exes- even the ones that hurt me a lot, so according to girl-rules I should forget their existence and burn their things and ignore them for eternity.  I do realize that this is a rule, so in the moment, I always say something dramatic like “I never want to talk to you again!”  But it never fails that within a few weeks (or even days), there I am, talking to them.  Yeah, sometimes people have hurt me, guys and girls.  But you know what?  It hurts me way more to be all awkward after the fact.  Or to cut someone out completely that you used to share every day with, and now you have to pretend that you’re strangers.  Nothing bothers me more than broken relationships.   I don’t think we’re wired to be emotionally connected to people and then have that connection severed suddenly.  Maybe I need to have more female-pride, but honestly I’m kinda happy with the fact that I don’t.  I’m just never gonna be one of those girls who glares at certain people who are on their list of enemies.  I don’t actually physically know how to glare at people without looking ridiculous.  Although this could be because I have permanent b-word face**, so glaring actually is just my default setting, and doing anything more than that just seems weird.

      **This is a serious problem affecting many girls, knowing and unknowing.  If you are unsure whether or not you suffer from chronic b-word face, a symptom is people constantly asking you "Are you okay?" or "What's wrong?" or "Are you angry about something?" whenever you are doing a mundane activity such as chewing a bite of food or watching TV.

In closing, I have a couple questions that I would love y’all to leave some answers to in the comments if you feel so led.  Boys- is being mysterious a good thing?  Should those of us who aren't start practicing?  Girls who are mysterious- how do you do it?!  

-S

dat outfit tho...

Well hi there! I’m obviously not Halle or Sarah, but the two beautiful ladies allowed me to hijack their blog to let you into the male mind on different topics. Today we delve into one of my loves: fashion. Every once in a while, depending on how you guys like me, I’ll get to drop knowledge bombs on you from time to time.

Anyhoo, its finally starting to feel like fall!!! It’s the time we associate with:

A. bonfires,

B. apple picking,

C. corn mazes, 

D. football,

E. the scenery afire with the colors of changing leaves, and

F. crisp evenings filled with walks through parks (pumpkin spice lattes in hand).

It’s also filled with one of my favorite things ever: FALL FASHION! It’s the time for delightful layering, beautiful earth tones and bringing out your inner fashionista. So sit back, relax, and open your mind as I give you my tips for keeping 2013’s Autumn style on point.

Colors
This year, don’t be afraid to be bold. Navy, browns, and red have always been mainstays for the season, but how about this year, flirt with bourdeaux (wine). It’s a color that can be intimidating when seen alone, but when paired with the right neutrals, can accent an outfit perfectly. It’s closer to plum than it is purple and so very pretty. I challenge you to find a cute leather jacket or boots in that color. A color that is HUGE this year is olive. It’s been mostly seen in camo on mainstream runway... I detest camo but respect it at the same time. I'm telling you, though, the color by itself is gorgeous. Ladies, olive dresses are adorable. Guys, feeling brave? Buy a pair of olive chinos. Last but not least, mustard yellow. Most people think of it as a summer spring color, but having a pop of mustard can take an outfit from A to A+.

Essentials

Girls: oversized sweaters, oxford flats/boots, combat boots, flannels and simple belts are all must have pieces for this season.

Guys: hoodies, chukka/ dessert boots, wing tip dress shoes, sock ties, puffer vests, and slim cut pants/ jeans are the jam. Enough said. Fall inspired tribals are also not a bad idea.

Guys & girls: beanies, CHUNKY INFINITY SCARVES (I LOVE them), cardigans, messenger bags, denim jackets and leather military styled jackets. Do it. You’ll love it.

      

Accessories

This fall it’s all about the wrist candy. Girls and guys alike can rock it.

Ladies: layer your watch with coordinating bracelets and/or charms.

My dudes: keep it simple. 1 or 2 simple beads or leather bracelets are perfect.

Another accessory that’s good for both sexes is the long necklace. A simple scoop neck tee can be jazzed up by a beautiful pendant hanging from your neck. And don’t be afraid to layer your necklace. Don’t do more than three though; we’re staying cute, not Flava Flavs lost cousin.

My friend Kris has fall style on lock:

Here's an outfit I styled for my friend Gauri:

and here are some of my personal favorite outfit choices:

I could go on and on because I love dressing for this season so much, but I think I've bored you enough for one read. Also remember, my thoughts are just my lowly opinions, not an end-all. If you guys have questions or would like to even share your favorite fall looks and pieces, feel free to do so in the comments.

Hopefully I’ll get to write again! xoxo

Ty Ty

me too.

One of my sorority sisters and I were sharing breakup stories the other day at dinner.  It was the coolest thing, because as both of us were telling our stories, the other kept interrupting with, “YES!” or, “Oh my gosh, I know exactly what you mean!”  It is so comforting to go through something awful, and then realize that someone can relate to experiencing the same thing.  There’s this guy James Baldwin that once said, “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.  It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me the most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”  Books do it, poetry does it, music does it.  That’s why I love listening to breakup songs, because you realize that as sucky as you felt, someone else UNDERSTANDS, and put the feelings you had into words that you couldn’t quite come up with.  You aren’t alone. 

Its not only commiserating about a breakup, though.  How awesome is it when you find out that someone else loves the same sports team/TV show/obscure band as you (Cincinnati Reds/Friends/The Classic Crime fans, where you at?!).  Or realizing that someone else shares a really secret thought or weird quirk that you have (anyone else have this intense fear of setting your alarm for a "normal" time, so you always wake up at like 7:26 or 8:03?).  There is nothing better than hearing those two words- “Me too.”

That’s one reason why, and bear with me while I try and get deep for a second, Jesus is so dang cool.  Jesus is God’s way of saying “Me too.”  God is so other than us, so infinite and good and holy and loving, and as hard as we may try we just aren’t those things.   He knew that we would have the thought that all Christians have probably had at some point- “God, it’s just so HARD down here on earth.  There is so much sadness and brokenness and hatred and temptation.  You just don’t understand.”  So He sent Jesus, and Jesus can say, “Me too.  I’ve walked on earth too.  I’ve felt that hatred and sadness too.  I’ve been tempted too.”  Jesus is that member of the Trinity that we can really relate to, and because of Him we know that God DOES understand how we feel.  And we are left without an excuse, because Jesus was on earth and did deal with the same hatred and sadness and temptation, and yet still maintained his goodness and holiness and love for others.

Anyways, I guess I want to leave you with a couple things.  First of all, don’t be afraid to open up to people around you, because one of these days you’ll find someone who says “Me too!” and it will make you feel great inside.  Second, remember that even God can say “Me too.”  He really does understand what we’re going through down here, and even though He can’t relate to our sin and failure, He loves us in spite of ALL of it.  Pretty great.

-S