finals, Beyonce, and everything in between

It's just me and Beyonce sitting a room. I can only ask her one question. Should I ask her how she looks so flawless all the time? Or how she can reach that high note without sounding like a dying cow? No. Here's what I'm going to ask her: Why, OH WHY, did you release your album during finals? I'm over here trying to be the best student I can be, and at midnight last night you decide that it's a good idea to just surprise the world. So I spent about 3 hours last night listening to it/ watching the videos and it's safe to say I love it. There are a few ratchet tunes, but I'll let her get away with it because it's Bey. One of my favorite songs is called 'Pretty Hurts' and the video is even better. Please please please watch it so you can understand what I'm talking about after the jump:

I'm sure you all have read articles and heard tons of advice about loving yourself, blah blah blah. But I saw this video and was instantly shocked by something: every time I see Beyonce, she exudes confidence and strength. I'm not even saying that because I'm a fan, I'm saying that as an objective fact. Love her or hate her, you have to admit she does not come across as insecure. Throughout the 'Pretty Hurts' music video, Beyonce portrayed herself as someone who worried about what people thought and had major self-esteem issues and it blew my mind.

It was funny seeing her try to act insecure because it just looked so unnatural. And then I thought, why do I sell myself short? Sure, Beyonce might not be exactly who I want to be when I grow up because I don't agree with the way she does a lot of things, but she showed me something about myself today. As a woman, she knows the power she has and does not let any insecurities get in her way, and neither should I. This quote by Marianne Wilson has always been one of my favorites, and it fits in so well with what I'm trying to articulate: 

Just think, being a confident, FIERCE, independent woman is not just for your own benefit, but it will inspire others to break free from their own box of insecurity too. Win-win! 

Good luck on all your finals, my people. We can do this.  

creepy vs. cute.

When you like someone, it is imperative to be extremely careful in how you show it.  I have come to learn that there is a fine, fine line between something eliciting an “aww” and a smile, versus an “eww” and a look of confusion/fear.  I think there are a few reasons why this is the case.

1)      Your body language/overall “aura”.  Certain people are just inherently more creepy than others, and if this is you, be sure you are aware of this and don’t say anything that could even possibly be misconstrued as creepy.  For example, take the phrase “When I’m in a crowded room, the only person I see is you.”  Steve Buscemi (see Fig. 1) says this – girl is creeped out.  Ryan Gosling says this (see Fig. 2, even though I’m pretty sure everyone already has a great mental image) – girl is swept off her feet.  Overall lesson: if you look like Steve Buscemi, make sure you say safer things, like “You look nice today.”

Figure 1.

Figure 2.

**Figure 3. Note that even Ryan Gosling looks creepy when he has no teeth.  So if you have no teeth, be extra aware of what you say.

2)      Confidence level.  Being confident in yourself is super important.  Not appearing confident reads as desperate, and desperation will always correlate with creepiness.  An example would be this girl reading Taylor Swift lyrics – her desperate body language reads MAJORLY creepy, yet somehow when Taylor Swift sings these words, guys across America fall for her charm.

3)      Hide certain things.  At first anyway.  I have a hard time with this one, because I am all about being open and honest.  But sometimes, complete honesty is not the best policy.  Girls especially can get carried away with this.  If a guy asks “Did you enjoy our first date?”, it is probably not the best to say, “Yes!  Afterwards I came home, told my 10 cats all about it, stalked all 673 of your Facebook pictures, and created a new Pinterest wedding board!”, even if this is the case.  Same goes for guys though. We’ve all heard stories about a guy meeting a girl and going home and telling his family and friends “I met the girl I’m going to marry today!”  When she hears this story at their wedding, she tears up and everyone awws and is incredibly jealous that their lives are not that perfect.  However, had the guy gone up to the girl the first day they met and informed her of their impending nuptials, she would have probably run away, to the nearest police station, and filed a restraining order.  

4)      Mode of communication.  We have so many options when it comes to communicating with someone: text, facebook message, call, skype, morse code, carrier pigeon, etc.  But here’s the problem – when we aren’t talking face to face, somehow we feel infinitely more bold and like we have permission to say very creepy things.  Moral: don’t say something over text that you wouldn’t have the boldness to say face to face.  It doesn’t look more confident or impressive when you say something extremely forward over texting, it looks like you’re only saying it because you’re hiding behind your phone and that makes you not confident, which makes you creepy.

5)      Chemistry/timing/God smiling down on you.  This is just in reference to that special je ne sais quoi that certain relationships have (that took about 5 tries to get the right spelling, by the way).  Certain people just click, at certain times, when they are both looking for it, and while anyone else may think things they do are creepy, they both just understand each other.  There’s this quote that I’ve heard before that I really like and I think it applies: “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”

Let’s be real, it’s really a small miracle that anyone gets into a relationship with anyone else without screwing it up first with all of their potential for creepiness.  If you’ve experienced some major creepiness before, feel free to share in the comments (and who hasn’t, am I right?) J

-S

FINALS: how do you cope?

This past week I got to see family and friends for Thanksgiving break and enjoyed every second of it aside from the moments when my cousins decided that giving me noogies and sitting on me would be fun. I'm not trying to make this a corny post about how thankful I am for the people God gave me, (which I SO am, by the way), so I will spare you. What I will talk about, however, is how much I missed laughing. Not to say that I'm this soulless robot-person when I'm not home, but I definitely realized how anxious and worried I am at school. I didn't even realize how big of an effect it had on me. Back story: I have this disorder called TMJ

(Temporomandibular joint dysfunction) where my jaw aches and it's painful to talk or eat. Over the Thanksgiving break, I realized that I hadn't experienced the pains once and it hit me: I wasn't stressed at all! HALLELUJAH. The second I rolled back to school about an hour ago, guess what happened? MY JAW STARTED TO HURT. So what's the solution? I think it's laughter, good friends, and not over-thinking everything. Over the next two weeks, I have four 10 page papers due, a presentation, and five finals. Just thinking about it makes me want to drink bleach. Fear not, fans, I will not do that. I will make time to laugh, grab a drink with friends, and just relax. So if you're a college student and you're stressed about finals, or if you're just someone who's a stressed out person in general, here's my advice: laugh. Here are a few things that made me laugh this week. Because I know this is everything you've been waiting for in life. 

1. Warning: you may find this sacrilegious. However, God probably thought it was funny too. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you absolutely had to be silent and you start to laugh? Well, my sister and I were sitting in the front row of this very conservative church that we haven't been to for years and we were receiving communion. It was time for me and Annie to eat the bread and when we bit into it, it tasted like some form of stale cake-bread. We looked at each other and I whispered, "What is this?" We probably would not have been laughing so hard if we were allowed to talk, but the fact that we had to be silent made it the funniest thing in the world. I kept my head down because I was crying from laughter and I kept making these weird snorty noises. I'm sure we sounded like dying animals. My mom looked over and told us to stop and that we were embarrassing her which of course made us laugh even harder. We eventually recovered and were respectful the rest of the communion, I promise. Moral of the story: everything is funnier when you have to be quiet.

2. My family and I were eating sushi in Nashville and we ordered a BUTTLOAD of food. All of the sushi rolls were really good because the raw fish wasn't excessive, except for this one roll. I saved it for last because I knew it was gonna be a struggle and I popped it in my mouth. Much to my dismay, I couldn't bring myself to bite down. I sat there with a massive ball of raw fish just hanging out in my mouth (sorry if this is too graphic, you can stop reading) when the chef looked over at me. I just smiled with my bulging cheeks and gave him the thumbs up. What else was I supposed to do??? I ended up just swallowing it whole.

3. The fact that the Browns found a way to lose in the last two minutes of the fourth quarter today. Us Clevelanders have to laugh so we don't cry. 

4. This photo of my dad I found today at my grandma's:

There are a billion more ways to combat stress. I want to know the ways that you do, because God knows I need it. Remember: laugh every day. It's great and people like being around you. 

-H

i have nothing to say.

It’s been a really long time since I’ve written anything.  And I apologize.  But I also have a reason- albeit a lame one- I feel like I have nothing to say. 

This blog started out super hot and exciting (ok, it felt that way to Halle and I, but we tend to think we’re more awesome than we probably are).  We were getting lots of compliments, people would say how funny or insightful a certain post was, and we watched the number of page views climb.  With that came the pressure – oh man, we gotta keep this up.  People have expectations now; what if I fail them?  What if I’m not funny enough?  What if this post doesn’t get as many views as the last one?

But you know what – don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.  Ok, that was super corny, and it just makes me think of “A Cinderella Story” (man, what ever happened to Chad Michael Murray…), but it’s true.  The fear of failure is never going to accomplish anything except make you more likely to fail. 

Thanks for the transition to my next point Chad.  Also, for your good looks.

Also, sometimes I might not think that I have anything that important to say.  In fact, a lot of the time I feel that way.  I get bored with myself.  I’ve been inside my head for 20 years now; I’ve kind of heard all there is to hear from me.  But we don’t have to be anything particularly exciting or awesome to capture people’s interest.  Just being your genuine self is enough to make you important.  That’s all anyone wants – someone they can be themselves with.  Someone that admits that they aren’t exciting enough or funny enough or religious enough or smart enough, because that makes you relatable.  You aren't pretending to be something you're not.

Another side note while I’m feeling deep – that’s all God wants from us too.  Our genuine selves.  You might not feel like you have anything to say to Him – tell Him that.  You might not feel interesting enough or holy enough or enough of anything to measure up to God.  That’s ok, because you aren’t.  And the fact that you realize you aren’t puts you in the perfect position to talk to God.  Be honest with Him, be yourself with Him, be sad, mad, happy, or doubtful with Him.  We don’t have to try and come up with these great things to say to impress Him; He loves us for who we are.  Let’s try and remember that.

-S

compliments: not as creepy as you think

Think back to a time when a guy complimented you. Now think back to how that made you feel. GREAT, right?!?!? One time last year a guy said that I looked nice, and I still remember EVERYTHING about that moment. I remember who it was, where it was, what I was wearing, what he was wearing, etc, etc. Maybe I'm a psycho. Maybe it's Maybelline. The only time I actually feel creeped out by a guy when he's giving me a compliment is if he says something like, "You have a way of being sexy with your feet." Yes, someone actually said that to me. As long as you don't look/ act like a serial killer, I probably won't get creeped out. Or think you're hitting on me. Promise. Also, whenever I get a compliment from a member of the male gender, I view him as confident and self-assured. Guys: give a compliment to a girl tomorrow and watch her face light up. It seriously will change her entire day.

Ladies, you know I'm not leaving you behind on this one though. When you get compliments, PLEASE be gracious and just accept them. Say "thank you", smile, and let it make your day. Nobody likes that awkward denial. What are they supposed to do, agree with you? Maybe they should after that lavish display of self-deprecation.

Challenge: compliment as many people as you can tomorrow. It will make you feel great about yourself seeing how many people you make happy. And here's an extra challenge: give them a specific compliment. The best compliments I've ever received and remember to this day are not the typical outfit praises or the you-look-cutes, but the ones that say something meaningful about who I am as a person. Embarassing fact: I write down every compliment I get that makes me feel warm and fuzzy in my 'notes' on my phone, so whenever I'm feeling sad about my life I can just look at those and realize that I'm not so bad. So, if you've ever complimented me, your name is probably in my iPhone and I probably love you. Don't freak out.

Side note: when you're complimenting someone, make sure you're actually being authentic because people can SMELL fake. We all went to middle school. With that one girl.



Don't be her.

And for the record people, this post is not me crying about how I don't get enough compliments because my identity is in Christ and he's the only person whose opinion matters anyways. I'm simply on a mission to encourage people to spread the positivity and love because you never know how badly someone might need it. And remember: you can never give enough compliments because most of the time, people aren't getting enough.

Peace and love,

-H

i don't know how to be a girl.

I recently realized that there are certain qualities that girls are known for that I just… don’t have.  Despite the numerous examples I could give,  I’ll narrow down the list to two things.

1)      Being mysterious.  Some girls just have it all figured out.  They are beautiful.  They float around all day, doe-eyed and petite and lovely and demure.  They have a high, airy voice and an adorable giggle.  None of those things describe me.  I literally have no idea how to be demure or mysterious, and being 6 feet tall rules out petite pretty quickly.  I am way too honest for the whole mysterious thing, and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.  I used to think being mysterious was a bad thing; it was one of those games that high-schoolers play when they don’t want to let the person that they like know that they like them.  Lately, I’m realizing it’s probably a pretty attractive quality that I somehow never picked up along the way.  I want to be one of those girls that says just enough to be funny or interesting, but is quiet enough to not be obnoxious and have an air of mystery.  I wonder if those girls try to be like that, or they just are.  I would definitely be trying, and it’s just not worth the effort for me.  Also, if I wanted to be mysterious, I probably shouldn’t have started writing a blog.

2)      Holding grudges.  Girls have been forever known as the stubborn, grudge-holding sex.  Again, guess I missed out on that one.  For example, I am still friends with all of my exes- even the ones that hurt me a lot, so according to girl-rules I should forget their existence and burn their things and ignore them for eternity.  I do realize that this is a rule, so in the moment, I always say something dramatic like “I never want to talk to you again!”  But it never fails that within a few weeks (or even days), there I am, talking to them.  Yeah, sometimes people have hurt me, guys and girls.  But you know what?  It hurts me way more to be all awkward after the fact.  Or to cut someone out completely that you used to share every day with, and now you have to pretend that you’re strangers.  Nothing bothers me more than broken relationships.   I don’t think we’re wired to be emotionally connected to people and then have that connection severed suddenly.  Maybe I need to have more female-pride, but honestly I’m kinda happy with the fact that I don’t.  I’m just never gonna be one of those girls who glares at certain people who are on their list of enemies.  I don’t actually physically know how to glare at people without looking ridiculous.  Although this could be because I have permanent b-word face**, so glaring actually is just my default setting, and doing anything more than that just seems weird.

      **This is a serious problem affecting many girls, knowing and unknowing.  If you are unsure whether or not you suffer from chronic b-word face, a symptom is people constantly asking you "Are you okay?" or "What's wrong?" or "Are you angry about something?" whenever you are doing a mundane activity such as chewing a bite of food or watching TV.

In closing, I have a couple questions that I would love y’all to leave some answers to in the comments if you feel so led.  Boys- is being mysterious a good thing?  Should those of us who aren't start practicing?  Girls who are mysterious- how do you do it?!  

-S

dat outfit tho...

Well hi there! I’m obviously not Halle or Sarah, but the two beautiful ladies allowed me to hijack their blog to let you into the male mind on different topics. Today we delve into one of my loves: fashion. Every once in a while, depending on how you guys like me, I’ll get to drop knowledge bombs on you from time to time.

Anyhoo, its finally starting to feel like fall!!! It’s the time we associate with:

A. bonfires,

B. apple picking,

C. corn mazes, 

D. football,

E. the scenery afire with the colors of changing leaves, and

F. crisp evenings filled with walks through parks (pumpkin spice lattes in hand).

It’s also filled with one of my favorite things ever: FALL FASHION! It’s the time for delightful layering, beautiful earth tones and bringing out your inner fashionista. So sit back, relax, and open your mind as I give you my tips for keeping 2013’s Autumn style on point.

Colors
This year, don’t be afraid to be bold. Navy, browns, and red have always been mainstays for the season, but how about this year, flirt with bourdeaux (wine). It’s a color that can be intimidating when seen alone, but when paired with the right neutrals, can accent an outfit perfectly. It’s closer to plum than it is purple and so very pretty. I challenge you to find a cute leather jacket or boots in that color. A color that is HUGE this year is olive. It’s been mostly seen in camo on mainstream runway... I detest camo but respect it at the same time. I'm telling you, though, the color by itself is gorgeous. Ladies, olive dresses are adorable. Guys, feeling brave? Buy a pair of olive chinos. Last but not least, mustard yellow. Most people think of it as a summer spring color, but having a pop of mustard can take an outfit from A to A+.

Essentials

Girls: oversized sweaters, oxford flats/boots, combat boots, flannels and simple belts are all must have pieces for this season.

Guys: hoodies, chukka/ dessert boots, wing tip dress shoes, sock ties, puffer vests, and slim cut pants/ jeans are the jam. Enough said. Fall inspired tribals are also not a bad idea.

Guys & girls: beanies, CHUNKY INFINITY SCARVES (I LOVE them), cardigans, messenger bags, denim jackets and leather military styled jackets. Do it. You’ll love it.

      

Accessories

This fall it’s all about the wrist candy. Girls and guys alike can rock it.

Ladies: layer your watch with coordinating bracelets and/or charms.

My dudes: keep it simple. 1 or 2 simple beads or leather bracelets are perfect.

Another accessory that’s good for both sexes is the long necklace. A simple scoop neck tee can be jazzed up by a beautiful pendant hanging from your neck. And don’t be afraid to layer your necklace. Don’t do more than three though; we’re staying cute, not Flava Flavs lost cousin.

My friend Kris has fall style on lock:

Here's an outfit I styled for my friend Gauri:

and here are some of my personal favorite outfit choices:

I could go on and on because I love dressing for this season so much, but I think I've bored you enough for one read. Also remember, my thoughts are just my lowly opinions, not an end-all. If you guys have questions or would like to even share your favorite fall looks and pieces, feel free to do so in the comments.

Hopefully I’ll get to write again! xoxo

Ty Ty

me too.

One of my sorority sisters and I were sharing breakup stories the other day at dinner.  It was the coolest thing, because as both of us were telling our stories, the other kept interrupting with, “YES!” or, “Oh my gosh, I know exactly what you mean!”  It is so comforting to go through something awful, and then realize that someone can relate to experiencing the same thing.  There’s this guy James Baldwin that once said, “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.  It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me the most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”  Books do it, poetry does it, music does it.  That’s why I love listening to breakup songs, because you realize that as sucky as you felt, someone else UNDERSTANDS, and put the feelings you had into words that you couldn’t quite come up with.  You aren’t alone. 

Its not only commiserating about a breakup, though.  How awesome is it when you find out that someone else loves the same sports team/TV show/obscure band as you (Cincinnati Reds/Friends/The Classic Crime fans, where you at?!).  Or realizing that someone else shares a really secret thought or weird quirk that you have (anyone else have this intense fear of setting your alarm for a "normal" time, so you always wake up at like 7:26 or 8:03?).  There is nothing better than hearing those two words- “Me too.”

That’s one reason why, and bear with me while I try and get deep for a second, Jesus is so dang cool.  Jesus is God’s way of saying “Me too.”  God is so other than us, so infinite and good and holy and loving, and as hard as we may try we just aren’t those things.   He knew that we would have the thought that all Christians have probably had at some point- “God, it’s just so HARD down here on earth.  There is so much sadness and brokenness and hatred and temptation.  You just don’t understand.”  So He sent Jesus, and Jesus can say, “Me too.  I’ve walked on earth too.  I’ve felt that hatred and sadness too.  I’ve been tempted too.”  Jesus is that member of the Trinity that we can really relate to, and because of Him we know that God DOES understand how we feel.  And we are left without an excuse, because Jesus was on earth and did deal with the same hatred and sadness and temptation, and yet still maintained his goodness and holiness and love for others.

Anyways, I guess I want to leave you with a couple things.  First of all, don’t be afraid to open up to people around you, because one of these days you’ll find someone who says “Me too!” and it will make you feel great inside.  Second, remember that even God can say “Me too.”  He really does understand what we’re going through down here, and even though He can’t relate to our sin and failure, He loves us in spite of ALL of it.  Pretty great.

-S

how about let's not worry what people think.

I think everyone, even the most seemingly put-together and confident of people, get a little self-conscious at times.  It is a natural thing, and shouldn’t always have a negative connotation.  In certain situations, being aware of yourself and how you are being perceived by others is very important.  However, I have realized that there are some things that I (and I’m sure others) get self-conscious about that are completely pointless when you really think about it.

1)      Being “alone” in public places.  I was sitting in the student union the other day watching the Reds game by myself.  Now I didn’t go there with the purpose of watching it alone; I was waiting for a friend to meet me.  While I was waiting, however, I was SO uncomfortable.  I kept looking around seeing if anyone was watching me, playing with my phone to keep busy, and thinking to myself, “People probably think I’m such a weirdo sitting alone watching baseball.”  HOW FREAKING STUPID IS THAT.  First of all, it is kind of egotistical on my part to think that anyone even cared that I was sitting there.  Most people probably didn’t notice me, and if they did they probably didn’t give me a second thought.  Second of all, even if someone did notice me sitting alone and think that I must not have any friends, why does it matter?  I know that I have friends, and that doesn’t change whether or not some random person thinks I do. 

2)      Singing in the car.  Now this one may just be me, but I seriously love nothing more than blaring some diva ballads in my car and trying my best to hit those ungodly high notes (Leona Lewis- Bleeding Love, anyone?)   But as soon as I get to a stoplight, I shut right up, because there are cars around me and I am sitting there for an extended amount of time during which they could notice me singing, heaven forbid.  I have even gone so far as to pull out my phone and hold it to my ear at a stoplight so I could continue singing, and then if anyone saw me moving my mouth they might think I was talking on the phone.  Side note- I’m pretty sure it’s pretty easy to tell if someone is singing rather than talking, and those people that saw me probably just wondered who the unlucky person was being serenaded on the other end.  But seriously, WHO CARES if someone notices me singing my little head off in the car having a grand ol’ time?  I will likely never see any of those people again in my life, and if anything maybe it’ll make them smile.

3)      Dancing.  If you’ve seen the tall girl problems post, you’ve seen how wonderful I look when I’m dancing.  And after I see pictures like this of myself, I start to think, “Maybe I shouldn’t dance in public; my ostrich limbs flailing about cannot be enjoyable to look at.”  But you know who looks the WORST dancing?  People just standing there, bobbing their head looking uncomfortable.  You know who looks the best?  People who look like they’re having fun, regardless of their talent level.

A little story from that day I was watching baseball…  Later that day one of my girl friends who was in the student union came up to me and said, “Wow, I saw you sitting by yourself watching baseball and I was like, ‘I bet guys think she is such a hot girl just watching baseball there by herself.’”  I responded, “Um, are you kidding me? I was so nervous sitting there and felt like such a loser and not a ‘hot girl’ at all!”  So in reality, even though I wasn’t thinking very highly of myself, someone around me was admiring me.  Rather than assume the worst of what others must be thinking about you, try every once in a while to assume that they think you’re pretty cool.  Or at the very least, be practical and realize that they probably aren’t thinking about you at all.  It will help rid your mind of the useless worries and help you project confidence that will attract attention for the right reasons.

-S

911 yes hello I need a WAAAmbulance

"I just really don't want to go to class."

"I am so over the rain already."

"It's like... I'm glad to be back, I just don't want to do any work."

"Ugh, there are just some people that I do not want to see around campus at all."

"OMG BOYS HERE SUCKKKKKKKK WHY ME???"

I am guilty of saying all of the above and some more since coming back to school a couple days ago. I've heard many fellow students expressing similar sentiments as well and I'm sure you have too, even if in your own head. It's so easy to be nostalgic about summer and wishing you could go back to the nights of sleeping under the stars and laying out in the sun, but that doesn't mean school has to be the antithesis of that. It's funny because I spent the majority of summer so excited for the school year but now I'm here and I'm already missing having zero responsibilities. Why have I been thinking like that, though? I am OBSESSED with my sorority and love every single one of my classes already, yet I still find myself complaining. I realized that I'm not complaining because I actually have something that has been bothering me for a long time, I'm complaining because I have nothing else to say. Complaining has become the new small talk. Two girls in front of me were complaining about a really cool class I'm taking and said they were just ready to get it over with and get the A because they're seniors. By observing these two girls, I could tell that they weren't super close friends and were just trying to bond over a similar experience they shared, and instead of exchanging niceties, they complained about something that I was super excited about. It's funny, because after that conversation I was consumed with negative thoughts about the class. My perspective was completely turned around in just a couple seconds because of an overheard conversation. Negativity is CONTAGIOUS, my people. Over the summer I challenged myself to appreciate and enjoy every moment and it changed my entire outlook on life. When I stepped back onto this campus, though, I slipped back into my old mindset almost immediately. I'm thankful that God has made me aware of my struggle so that I can change my outlook. Bottom line: If you are not joyful as a Christian, you are living a lie. Let's step it up people! We are incredibly blessed by the God of the Universe, and that's enough. Let's dance in the rain instead of complaining about it.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

-H

friends: the good and the bad

There's a good chance that you've gone through a lot of best friends. It's not a bad thing, it's just life. Sure you can still be friends with your best friends but life moves so fast that it's extremely difficult to stay as close as you used to be. I was talking to my best friend from high school the other day and I told her how I'm still good friends with about five people from high school. FIVE PEOPLE. I went to school with 1600 other kids. How does that even happen? Well for one, high school was an overall nauseating experience. I couldn't make deep and meaningful friendships in that horrific environment. Thank God for gymnastics or I probably would have made zero friends. If you're in high school and you're reading this, rest easy in knowing that the popularity hierarchy DOES NOT EXIST upon graduating. I know, I was relieved too. It seemed like everyone was trying to climb their way to the top and the gossip was unbelievable. I'm not claiming innocent in that category, either. I was just as bad as the next person.

#TRUUUUU. I apologize for that outburst. Anyways, fast forward to college and life is OH so much dandier. The people are nicer, the friendships are deeper, and the academics are a million times harder but that's beside the point. The main reason I enjoy it so much more than high school is because the people I choose to surround myself with build me up in every way. We all have or had that one friend who uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism for their insecurities. I am a sarcastic person at times, but I've learned not to make jokes at my friends' expense. One time, my friend was trying to make me look stupid in front of my other friends and it didn't feel very nice. I asked her afterwards why she did that and guess what she said? "I do it because it makes people laugh and I like making people laugh."

.......................................................

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

The goal was noble, I will give her that. But the way she went about achieving that goal? INCONCEIVABLE. (If you didn't read that in Vizzini's voice from Princess Bride then I don't know you.)

That, my friends, is the number one sign of an insecure person. Stay away from the people who put you down constantly, even if it seems like it's all fun and games. And if you're friends with someone who puts you down, either confront the issue or cut them out of your life. There's no shame in doing either one because who you surround yourself with is who you are. Maintain your dignity in every situation and build people up whenever possible because there is no one in this world who actually likes being made fun of. Even though I'm only 20 (ALMOST 21), I've learned a lot in the department of friendship and I hope this helped at least one of you beautiful peoples. XOXOX,

-H

back to school.

Halle and I really cannot wait to go back to school.  Honestly.  Home is getting quite boring and lonely.  But the other day, as we were talking, it hit us... we are going to have to deal with the "How was your summerrrrrrr?!" question from about 30 of our sorority sisters on our respective halls, and the numerous other friends we will run into around campus on move-in day.  And this thought almost made me want to lock myself in my room here at home and never go back.  So, instead I will write this blog post and hope that most of the people I will see back at school will read it and take heed.

If you decide to ask me how my summer was, I will do one or more of the things listed below:

• yell and scream

• give you one of these faces

• tell you exactly how every moment of my summer was in excruciating detail until you want to do this

• change the subject to something infinitely more interesting

• slap you and run away

But in all seriousness... if you don't already know how my summer was, we probably aren't that close so you probably don't really care and I probably don't really care to explain it.  I'll most likely just be like "It was good!"  So you have that exciting response to look forward to.

All my love!

-S

modest isn't hottest

So, I have a dilemma. Sarah and I go to a private Christian school somewhere in Pennsylvania with 2400 other students called Grove City College. At Grove City, you will stick out like a sore thumb if you wear that slightly revealing yet adorable dress you saw on Pinterest the other day. Flyers advertising seminars titled "Modest is Hottest" are posted in the freshman girls' dorms in order to introduce the newbies to the ways of the Grove. Now don't get me wrong: I love that my school promotes modesty. I really do. I've been challenged to modestify my wardrobe and I prefer it a million times more over my slightly shorter and tighter clothes I rocked in high school. But I have a few issues with this whole modesty campaign.

1. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say 'hot'? A fire, obviously. What's the second? A sexy lady showing a sexy amount of skin, probably. "Hot" is what guys use to describe other girls that they find visually and sexually appealing. Dressing modestly is in no way hot. It just isn't. I highly doubt that the premise of the message of modesty is how to arouse men in a floor length jean skirt.

2. If you're trying to prove that modest is hottest, then you've already lost. Every time someone has come up to me telling me that my shirt's too revealing or my skirt is too short, I've been turned off. There is obviously something to the whole "dressing immodestly" thing because it attracts a lot of male attention. The desire to dress modestly should come from a place of personal conviction to honor God, not someone telling you that it's hot.

3. Sure, it's probably cool at your church or small Christian school to stand by that catchy phrase and wear it on your t-shirt, but I promise you that you will be forever mocked if you act like that outside of your safe zones. Also, "modest is hottest" is a preposterous misuse of the English language. CHECK YOSELF.

DISCLAIMER: Just because modest isn't hottest doesn't mean it isn't beautiful and classy and all those good things. Also, I'm banning myself from ever writing a post on my soapbox ever again. I've become a monster.

Tell me your thoughts by commenting below, please and thank you. Also, read this much better and hilarious post about this issue: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2013/06/modest-is-not-hottest.html

breakups.

Man, do they suck.  Big time.  But you know what I’ve realized?  They’re almost a rite of passage.  Think of how horrible it would be to be on your deathbed and realize that you never experienced the sadness that inspired countless Taylor Swift songs.  So, if you are going through heartbreak right now, you are in good company my friend.   Also, something I’ve been thinking, is that being broken up with is much better than being the breaker-upper. Let me break it down for you.

·         You get to be the bitter one which, admittedly, feels kinda good for a while.

·         You get to play the sympathy card with your friends/family, and listen to them tell you how great you are and maybe even buy you stuff.

·         You don’t have to deal with the regret of wondering if you made the right decision in breaking up with the person.

·         You are allowed to eat ice cream out of the gallon/3 boxes of oreos in one sitting and feel zero guilt.

·         You can belt out some “Someone Like You” in your car, pausing at stoplights of course, and really feel the lyrics.

·         You can move on first and not feel guilty.

·         Honestly, you can be pretty humbled by the rejection, and become a better person because of it.

·         You can let Jesus be your boyfriend for a while, and He’ll undoubtedly be way better than the last .

And all of this is not even to mention the perks of being single.

·         Whenver Single Ladies comes on you can gladly and proudly “put yo hand UP”.

·         You can “talk” to/go on dates with the hordes of people who were eagerly awaiting the day your facebook relationship status would change to “single”.  Or at least one person. Hopefully.

·         You can fb stalk that cute boy/look up Ryan Gosling pictures online for hours and not even feel bad.

·         You can hold on to the hope that you will someday be with an NBA player… oh wait… that’s just me.  But seriously, your dream guy is still out there, and you still get the excitement of finding him!  It's still an exciting unknown to look forward to.

·         You can buy a lot of cats and know that they will never leave you. 

Now, I’m sure, being in a relationship can be pretty great too, but it will come in its time.  For now, let yourself feel the heartbreak for a while (maybe make a playlist of songs specifically geared to make you bawl your eyes out…oh wait, just me again?), and when the time comes, move on and you’ll be better for it.

Anyone have some surefire tips for beating the breakup blues?

-S

GUYS. read this. please.

Alright, this one is for you, gentlemen.  I’ve had a few conversations over the years with some of you and you seemed to be surprised about certain things that girls do or think.  So I’m gonna go full disclosure here and share some of these things with you that the sooner you find out, the better.  Girls, some of this might be a little embarrassing, but we gotta own it and stop trying to hide our crazy! We’ve all got it!

1)      When we’re walking around in public, we aren’t checking you out.  We’re checking out other girls.  Now now, don’t get too excited.  We’re checking them out because we’re comparing ourselves to them.   Ranking ourselves against them.  It’s pathetic actually.  I’m not proud of this, but it’s what we do.  But in any case, you don’t really have to worry much about what you look like, cause we probably don’t notice.  Unless you’re not wearing a shirt and lifting some heavy boxes off the ground or something.  Then expect a lot of staring and inconspicuous iPhone picture taking.

2)      If we’ve talked to you for at least 20 seconds, we have probably already considered the possibility of dating you, and either ruled you out or you are our new crush.  Don’t worry, it probably won’t last long.   But if you are somewhat attracted to us, don’t be afraid to make a move!  Cause honestly, unless you are hideous or really awkward or smell bad*, we are already considering you.  90% of the time, if you are brave enough to make a move, we will give you a shot.  Halle and I, and probably a lot of other smart girls, have made up our minds that we will not pursue, we will be pursued.  If you don’t make that move, you won’t have a shot.

*Side note: smelling good is HUGE.

3)      Honestly, past that immediate curiosity, we actually like to move very slow.  It takes time for us to trust you, to develop a history with you, etc.  If you come on too strong too quickly, it will freak us out.  As much as we may say or think that we hate it, wait a day (not 3) before calling/texting/facebook messaging**.  Give us some time to think that you are out doing really cool things and have a super exciting life.  But, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT, be intentional about communicating and showing your interest when you choose to.  Just do it in small doses at first.

**This list is in order of decreasing amount of balls.  Man up and call.

4)      Fourth and final (for now anyways), here is our biggest secret: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE WANT.  Well, actually we do.  We want a guy who is romantic but masculine, honest but mysterious, a pursuer but not creepy, attractive but doesn’t act like he knows it, confident but not cocky, athletic but not a meathead, etc. etc. etc.  We know these expectations are too high, but we have too much womanly pride to settle.  If you’re confused, that’s ok, so are we.  Don’t worry about figuring us out, cause we don’t even have ourselves figured out.

Anyways, I hope this doesn’t freak you out too much.  But if it does, that’s too bad, cause every girl I know is pretty equally crazy.  If she’s trying to hide it now, it will come out later, and probably worse than you could ever imagine.  So just let us be a little weird and confusing and love us for it J

Also, as always, we welcome comments with any thoughtful questions or responses J

-S

cheap beauty must-haves for the broke college girl

I just recently realized that the reason I feel like I'm always caking on my make-up is because I'm always caking on my make-up. Groundbreaking stuff here folks. I discovered that I'm caking it on because I've only ever bought poor quality make-up that needed several applications. So yesterday, I went on a spree to find the BEST and the CHEAPEST make-up for broke college girls like myself and I am blessing you all with my discoveries. You're welcome. 

These are my beauty essentials and you better love them as much as I do. Starting from the top left:

1. NYX Slim Eye Pencils in Dark Brown and Black: $3.50 each. They last forever and are half as cheap as any drugstore eyeliner! I'm obsessed.

2. NYX Powder Blush in Pinched: $5. Pinched is a pinky/ coral shade with gold sparkles and it is the PRETTIEST BLUSH EVER. It looks good on everyone. I'm obsessed and you need to buy it right this second. You won't regret it.

3. E.L.F. Shimmering Facial Whip in Pink Lemonade: $1. You can't go wrong for that price. You can put it on your lips, eyelids, and cheeks and it looks and smells awesome. Definitely a must-have item.

4. NYC Smooth Skin Bronzing Face Powder in Sunny: $2.79. Again, you can't go wrong for that price and it's one of the most sought-after bronzers because of the matte look. No sparkles here so it's perfect for contouring and doesn't look fake at all!

5. NYX Soft Matte Lip Creams in Tokyo, Antwerp (my favorite), San Paulo, and Addis Ababa: $6 each. I went to Giant Eagle and got a pack of 3 for $6 so go run there really quickly and grab them if they're still there. I. LOVE. THESE. I can't say enough about them. There's really no way to explain what they are so I'm gonna go with a creamy whip that goes on matte and smells like babies. I don't even know. Just go out and buy them. They're wonderful.

6. L'Oreal True Match Super Blendable Concealer: $9.50. I got it for $5 because of a deal so that's pretty much why I bought it. It's just your basic concealer but it's part of my everyday routine so I had to include it. To cover up red spots, get a more yellowy concealer to cancel out the red.

7. E.L.F. Eyebrow Kit: $3. Perfect for Italians like me who constantly need to make sure their eyebrows aren't going crazy.

8. E.L.F. 3-in-1 Mascara: Lengthen, Define, & Volumize: $3. Love this mascara. Love the wand. Love the price. Just go out and get it.

9. L'Oreal True Match Lumi Healthy Luminous Makeup: $12.99. I splurged, folks. But trust me, you need to get foundation that won't make you look like you have 10 pounds of make-up on and this does the trick. I love it!

Oh, and one more thing! Use olive oil instead of a moisturizer. It makes your skin glow and feel SO soft.

So there you go. I hope you save a million dollars and never buy crappy make-up again. Oh, and if you ever want your make-up done, HIT ME UP. It's my secret passion.

-H

"talking"

Can we all just take a moment to reflect on "talking"? No, I don't mean the generic definition of the word. I mean the weird, awkwardly long phase between friendship and dating. You know how your parents tell you about all the people they used to date while subtly wondering why you aren't as cool as they were? Just me? Ok. Anyways, it JUST dawned on me that all the "dating" they used to do was actually what we call talking. So in the old days, I would've been just like the average dater! Obviously! *weeps silently*

So what exactly constitutes talking? I took it upon myself to delve into several deep and complex ways the opposite sexes interact with each other in this almost-dating-but-not-really stage and the pros and cons of each.

1. Texting. Obviously. Talking couldn't exist without texting because, let's face it: the spark simply could not exist without a kissy face emoji.

Pros: No face-to-face to interaction! You have time to think over what you want to say and make your life not seem as pathetic so you don't blow it like you obviously would in real life. 

What I would say if I were being completely honest:
Him: "hey what's up"
Me: "um nothing nothing at all just laying in bed watching netflix eating nutella from a spoon and trying to trap my dog in my room so she won't run away from me, HBU??"

What I actually say:
Him: "hey what's up"
Me: "nothing, you?"

Cons: There are few things that infuriate more than the texter who texts me "hey" every morning at 8 o' clock right before his shift at his dad's office. HELLO, girls like spontaneity, not routine. As hard as it is not to talk to me all day every day, it must be done. I can only bestow my wisdom in small doses because it will overwhelm you.

2. Facebook. How much more romantic can you get?

Pros: Creeping. This is my specialty. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but come on. Before my freshman year in college, I stalked some profiles to find a roommate and decided that the nice girl with 100 cats in her profile picture probably wouldn't be the best fit. Likewise, you can do the same with that boy who poked you yesterday.

Cons: Creeping. He can find every hideous selfie you've ever posted and every sappy quote you posted that related to your current situation. I still do both of those things, but that's beside the point.

3. Snapchat. No, this is not a joke. Did you know you can have a full length conversation via Snapchat? Neither did I til I did it.

Pros: Your true self cannot hide on Snapchat. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Emphasis on the ugly. There's no room for surprise!

Cons: Your true self cannot hide on Snapchat.

Here's the bottom line: 

Boys, just skip the talking phase and ask her out on a date. Girls, don't treat dates like they're some huge event that will eventually lead to a YouTube worthy proposal.

Bless you all.

-H

tall girl problems.

My name is Sarah and I’m a tall girl. 6’ tall to be exact. Here are a few of my problems, specifically those that relate to my extraneous amount of leg.

1)      Boys are short. I am not.**

2)      I don’t look “cute” in heels. I look gargantuan. See Figure 1.

3)      I have to slouch in pictures so my head is in the same layer of the atmosphere as the other people in the picture, resulting in the appearance of having severe scoliosis.

4)      People in random public places seem to think that the fact that I have the distinguishing characteristic of being very tall while simultaneously being a girl is an invitation to talk to me about this distinguishing characteristic.

            Ex) While walking through the Disney store in NYC, a man with a thick New Yahk accent approaches me.  Guy who doesn’t understand the appropriate level of contact you should have with strangers (i.e. none): “Hey, are you from America?”  Me: “Um…yes.” Guy: “Oh, you’re just so tall, I thought you must be from Scandinavia or somethin’.  You’re like an Amazonian woman.”  Me: “Um…cool.” Guy walks away. Guy comes back 15 seconds later.  Guy: “Hey, I have to ask, do you play basketball?” Me: “Um…no.” Guy: “Oh, cause you’re just so tall I thought you must play basketball.  Ok nevermind.”  (Side note…if I did play basketball, why on earth would it be that essential for him to know?  Like whether or not I play basketball was so important that he had to come BACK and ask me that. Anyways.)

5)      I have to special order jeans online that have a 36” inseam.  Otherwise I’m a pro at rocking the “ankle jean” look… for others it is a trend, for me it is a way of life.

6)      When dancing, sometimes I think I look really cool and seductive.  However, upon viewing a few videos/pictures that include me dancing, I realize that as a result of my awkwardly long limbs, I look somewhat like an ostrich.  An ostrich that probably has no friends. See Figure 2.

Anyways, these are just a few of my woes.  So anytime you short girls think “Man, I wish I was taller…”, give it a second thought.  And please, for the love of everything holy, stop dating the boys that are over 6’ tall if you are not. 

**If anyone happens to be friends with any single NBA players, do a girl a solid and hook me up. I have recently realized this is my only chance of ever finding love.

-S

Figure 1.

Figure 2.

late night woes

You know when your head has just hit the pillow and you're ready to doze off and dream about happy things like puppies and sunshine but your brain has different ideas? It's like, "Hey Halle, remember that one time you landed on your face at that gymnastics meet in front of your entire high school? Gooood times." So you're tossing and turning and trying to think about the times when you didn't mortify yourself but your brain just keeps the memories coming. "Oh oh oh remember when someone introduced you to a cute guy and you turned bright red and ran away? Hysterical." (This was last year by the way.) My personal favorite late night thought that isn't even an embarrassing moment but is actually just my brain expressing its cruel self is: "You can't date anyone ever because you'll start to stutter and sweat and then just mess everything up like that one time you gave that C grade speech last semester so really I'm doing you a favor by pummeling your self-esteem to the ground." THANKS BRAIN. YOU'RE A REAL PAL. 

All I'm saying is, whenever you want your frenemy of a brain to take a seat, read a book by Tolkien and fall asleep in a puddle of your drool after the first page. You're welcome for the life hack. 

-H

what this blog is for.

Have you ever wondered when you’re gonna have life figured out and be that final version of yourself that is perfectly beautiful and smart and funny and doesn’t have to try?  Yeah, us too.  So we’re kinda tired of trying to act like we know what we’re doing, and decided to embrace the fact that we’re a little weird and messy yet sometimes sort of awesome.  

Have you ever taken a second and realized how strange you are?  Have you ever wondered to yourself, “if someone else ever knew that I thought/did _____ , they would think I was the weirdest person alive?”  Well sharing those things has kinda been the basis of our friendship.  And we realized that if it makes us feel so good to hear someone say, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’ve thought/done that too!”, maybe it would make other people feel good as well.  So this is us, sharing our honest thoughts and experiences.  We’re tired of those blogs with these perfect girls giving advice on how to be perfect like them.  So instead we’re just gonna admit that we try really hard and fail a lot and secretly just want everyone’s affirmation.  Including yours.  Love us.  Please.

-S & H