When you like someone, it is imperative to be extremely
careful in how you show it. I have come
to learn that there is a fine, fine line between something eliciting an “aww”
and a smile, versus an “eww” and a look of confusion/fear. I think there are a few reasons why this is
the case.
1)
Your body
language/overall “aura”. Certain
people are just inherently more creepy than others, and if this is you, be sure
you are aware of this and don’t say anything that could even possibly be
misconstrued as creepy. For example,
take the phrase “When I’m in a crowded room, the only person I see is you.” Steve Buscemi (see Fig. 1) says this – girl
is creeped out. Ryan Gosling says this
(see Fig. 2, even though I’m pretty sure everyone already has a great mental
image) – girl is swept off her feet. Overall
lesson: if you look like Steve Buscemi, make sure you say safer things, like “You
look nice today.”
Figure 1.
Figure 2.
**Figure 3. Note that even Ryan Gosling looks creepy when he has no teeth. So if you have no teeth, be extra aware of what you say.
2)
Confidence
level. Being confident in yourself
is super important. Not appearing
confident reads as desperate, and desperation will always correlate with
creepiness. An example would be this
girl reading Taylor Swift lyrics – her desperate body language reads MAJORLY
creepy, yet somehow when Taylor Swift sings these words, guys across America
fall for her charm.
3)
Hide
certain things. At first anyway. I have a hard time with this one, because I
am all about being open and honest. But
sometimes, complete honesty is not the best policy. Girls especially can get carried away with
this. If a guy asks “Did you enjoy our
first date?”, it is probably not the best to say, “Yes! Afterwards I came home, told my 10 cats all about it, stalked all 673 of your Facebook pictures, and created
a new Pinterest wedding board!”, even if this is the case. Same goes for guys though. We’ve all heard
stories about a guy meeting a girl and going home and telling his
family and friends “I met the girl I’m going to marry today!” When she hears this story at their wedding,
she tears up and everyone awws and is incredibly jealous that their lives are not
that perfect. However, had the guy gone
up to the girl the first day they met and informed her of their impending nuptials,
she would have probably run away, to the nearest police station, and filed a
restraining order.
4)
Mode of
communication. We have so many options
when it comes to communicating with someone: text, facebook message, call,
skype, morse code, carrier pigeon, etc.
But here’s the problem – when we aren’t talking face to face, somehow we
feel infinitely more bold and like we have permission to say very creepy
things. Moral: don’t say something over
text that you wouldn’t have the boldness to say face to face. It doesn’t look more confident or impressive
when you say something extremely forward over texting, it looks like you’re
only saying it because you’re hiding behind your phone and that makes you not confident, which makes you creepy.
5)
Chemistry/timing/God
smiling down on you. This is just in
reference to that special je ne sais quoi that certain relationships have (that
took about 5 tries to get the right spelling, by the way). Certain people just click, at certain times,
when they are both looking for it, and while anyone else may think things they
do are creepy, they both just understand each other. There’s this quote that I’ve heard before
that I really like and I think it applies: “We’re all a little weird. And life
is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with
ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call
it love—true love.”
Let’s be real, it’s really a small miracle that anyone gets
into a relationship with anyone else without screwing it up first with all of
their potential for creepiness. If you’ve
experienced some major creepiness before, feel free to share in the comments (and who hasn’t,
am I right?) J
-S
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