finals, Beyonce, and everything in between

It's just me and Beyonce sitting a room. I can only ask her one question. Should I ask her how she looks so flawless all the time? Or how she can reach that high note without sounding like a dying cow? No. Here's what I'm going to ask her: Why, OH WHY, did you release your album during finals? I'm over here trying to be the best student I can be, and at midnight last night you decide that it's a good idea to just surprise the world. So I spent about 3 hours last night listening to it/ watching the videos and it's safe to say I love it. There are a few ratchet tunes, but I'll let her get away with it because it's Bey. One of my favorite songs is called 'Pretty Hurts' and the video is even better. Please please please watch it so you can understand what I'm talking about after the jump:

I'm sure you all have read articles and heard tons of advice about loving yourself, blah blah blah. But I saw this video and was instantly shocked by something: every time I see Beyonce, she exudes confidence and strength. I'm not even saying that because I'm a fan, I'm saying that as an objective fact. Love her or hate her, you have to admit she does not come across as insecure. Throughout the 'Pretty Hurts' music video, Beyonce portrayed herself as someone who worried about what people thought and had major self-esteem issues and it blew my mind.

It was funny seeing her try to act insecure because it just looked so unnatural. And then I thought, why do I sell myself short? Sure, Beyonce might not be exactly who I want to be when I grow up because I don't agree with the way she does a lot of things, but she showed me something about myself today. As a woman, she knows the power she has and does not let any insecurities get in her way, and neither should I. This quote by Marianne Wilson has always been one of my favorites, and it fits in so well with what I'm trying to articulate: 

Just think, being a confident, FIERCE, independent woman is not just for your own benefit, but it will inspire others to break free from their own box of insecurity too. Win-win! 

Good luck on all your finals, my people. We can do this.  

creepy vs. cute.

When you like someone, it is imperative to be extremely careful in how you show it.  I have come to learn that there is a fine, fine line between something eliciting an “aww” and a smile, versus an “eww” and a look of confusion/fear.  I think there are a few reasons why this is the case.

1)      Your body language/overall “aura”.  Certain people are just inherently more creepy than others, and if this is you, be sure you are aware of this and don’t say anything that could even possibly be misconstrued as creepy.  For example, take the phrase “When I’m in a crowded room, the only person I see is you.”  Steve Buscemi (see Fig. 1) says this – girl is creeped out.  Ryan Gosling says this (see Fig. 2, even though I’m pretty sure everyone already has a great mental image) – girl is swept off her feet.  Overall lesson: if you look like Steve Buscemi, make sure you say safer things, like “You look nice today.”

Figure 1.

Figure 2.

**Figure 3. Note that even Ryan Gosling looks creepy when he has no teeth.  So if you have no teeth, be extra aware of what you say.

2)      Confidence level.  Being confident in yourself is super important.  Not appearing confident reads as desperate, and desperation will always correlate with creepiness.  An example would be this girl reading Taylor Swift lyrics – her desperate body language reads MAJORLY creepy, yet somehow when Taylor Swift sings these words, guys across America fall for her charm.

3)      Hide certain things.  At first anyway.  I have a hard time with this one, because I am all about being open and honest.  But sometimes, complete honesty is not the best policy.  Girls especially can get carried away with this.  If a guy asks “Did you enjoy our first date?”, it is probably not the best to say, “Yes!  Afterwards I came home, told my 10 cats all about it, stalked all 673 of your Facebook pictures, and created a new Pinterest wedding board!”, even if this is the case.  Same goes for guys though. We’ve all heard stories about a guy meeting a girl and going home and telling his family and friends “I met the girl I’m going to marry today!”  When she hears this story at their wedding, she tears up and everyone awws and is incredibly jealous that their lives are not that perfect.  However, had the guy gone up to the girl the first day they met and informed her of their impending nuptials, she would have probably run away, to the nearest police station, and filed a restraining order.  

4)      Mode of communication.  We have so many options when it comes to communicating with someone: text, facebook message, call, skype, morse code, carrier pigeon, etc.  But here’s the problem – when we aren’t talking face to face, somehow we feel infinitely more bold and like we have permission to say very creepy things.  Moral: don’t say something over text that you wouldn’t have the boldness to say face to face.  It doesn’t look more confident or impressive when you say something extremely forward over texting, it looks like you’re only saying it because you’re hiding behind your phone and that makes you not confident, which makes you creepy.

5)      Chemistry/timing/God smiling down on you.  This is just in reference to that special je ne sais quoi that certain relationships have (that took about 5 tries to get the right spelling, by the way).  Certain people just click, at certain times, when they are both looking for it, and while anyone else may think things they do are creepy, they both just understand each other.  There’s this quote that I’ve heard before that I really like and I think it applies: “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”

Let’s be real, it’s really a small miracle that anyone gets into a relationship with anyone else without screwing it up first with all of their potential for creepiness.  If you’ve experienced some major creepiness before, feel free to share in the comments (and who hasn’t, am I right?) J

-S

FINALS: how do you cope?

This past week I got to see family and friends for Thanksgiving break and enjoyed every second of it aside from the moments when my cousins decided that giving me noogies and sitting on me would be fun. I'm not trying to make this a corny post about how thankful I am for the people God gave me, (which I SO am, by the way), so I will spare you. What I will talk about, however, is how much I missed laughing. Not to say that I'm this soulless robot-person when I'm not home, but I definitely realized how anxious and worried I am at school. I didn't even realize how big of an effect it had on me. Back story: I have this disorder called TMJ

(Temporomandibular joint dysfunction) where my jaw aches and it's painful to talk or eat. Over the Thanksgiving break, I realized that I hadn't experienced the pains once and it hit me: I wasn't stressed at all! HALLELUJAH. The second I rolled back to school about an hour ago, guess what happened? MY JAW STARTED TO HURT. So what's the solution? I think it's laughter, good friends, and not over-thinking everything. Over the next two weeks, I have four 10 page papers due, a presentation, and five finals. Just thinking about it makes me want to drink bleach. Fear not, fans, I will not do that. I will make time to laugh, grab a drink with friends, and just relax. So if you're a college student and you're stressed about finals, or if you're just someone who's a stressed out person in general, here's my advice: laugh. Here are a few things that made me laugh this week. Because I know this is everything you've been waiting for in life. 

1. Warning: you may find this sacrilegious. However, God probably thought it was funny too. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you absolutely had to be silent and you start to laugh? Well, my sister and I were sitting in the front row of this very conservative church that we haven't been to for years and we were receiving communion. It was time for me and Annie to eat the bread and when we bit into it, it tasted like some form of stale cake-bread. We looked at each other and I whispered, "What is this?" We probably would not have been laughing so hard if we were allowed to talk, but the fact that we had to be silent made it the funniest thing in the world. I kept my head down because I was crying from laughter and I kept making these weird snorty noises. I'm sure we sounded like dying animals. My mom looked over and told us to stop and that we were embarrassing her which of course made us laugh even harder. We eventually recovered and were respectful the rest of the communion, I promise. Moral of the story: everything is funnier when you have to be quiet.

2. My family and I were eating sushi in Nashville and we ordered a BUTTLOAD of food. All of the sushi rolls were really good because the raw fish wasn't excessive, except for this one roll. I saved it for last because I knew it was gonna be a struggle and I popped it in my mouth. Much to my dismay, I couldn't bring myself to bite down. I sat there with a massive ball of raw fish just hanging out in my mouth (sorry if this is too graphic, you can stop reading) when the chef looked over at me. I just smiled with my bulging cheeks and gave him the thumbs up. What else was I supposed to do??? I ended up just swallowing it whole.

3. The fact that the Browns found a way to lose in the last two minutes of the fourth quarter today. Us Clevelanders have to laugh so we don't cry. 

4. This photo of my dad I found today at my grandma's:

There are a billion more ways to combat stress. I want to know the ways that you do, because God knows I need it. Remember: laugh every day. It's great and people like being around you. 

-H